The Dark Night
The flash of lightning (5)
So razor sharp bright (5)
Quickly sets aglow (5)
The cold, wet, dark night. (5)
The candle’s hot flame (5)
Burns orange so bright. (5)
Then, without warning, (5)
Fades in the dark night. (5)
Caught within a world (5)
Of flickering light, (5)
There is no escape (5)
From the cold, dark night. (5)I was going to enter this poem into the contest along with my other four, but somehow it either slipped my mind, or I did not think that this was worthy of first prize. At any rate, be happy I can share this with you!
ANALYSIS:
Note that I used the same number of syllables in each line. This was intentional, from a technical standpoint. Imagery is present within this poem, too. Colors include black (the night sky), white or silver (the lightning), and orange (the flame from the candle). Noise is also apparent, since lightning is generally accompanied by thunder, which is frequently loud. The image of someone being trapped indoors while a storm rages outdoors is evident from the fact that candles cannot stay lit in the rain.
All in all, I think I should have sent this poem into the contest, or maybe saved it for another one... But, I wanted to showcase my abilities on this blog, and so here is another sample of my talent for writing.
Comments, anyone?
Very descriptive! I can sense the thunderstorm that caused the lights to go out. At the end, in the situation you are in, it is what you make of it...cold and alone, or warm and bright, it is your light to choose.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing!
You are very welcome. I hope you will follow this blog, and be back to read some more poems! I am finally starting to feel more comfortable sharing them...and have many to share.
ReplyDeleteThank you SO MUCH for stopping by. I LOVE IT when people take the time to comment! It encourages me, and provides validation for what I am doing. Thanks again!
I like this poem because it has both light and dark aspects. The candle is a beacon of hope against the storm. Though it fades into the night, I can only hope it can be re-lit
ReplyDeleteI am glad you liked it!
DeleteIt is interesting to hear your thoughts on it, about the re-lighting of the candle. I actually had not considered that, when writing it. Thank you!
Like Elizabeth, I too reacted to the lightness and darkness of the imagery. There's always great interest to be had in contrasts.
ReplyDeleteThanks to you, too, Jeri! I am grateful for your comment!
DeleteIt really enjoyed your poem. It held my attention and made me think. I concur with Jeri and Elizabeth. The contrast between to light and dark where beautifully expressed. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the compliment, Susan!
Delete(Please forgive me for pointing out what may have been just a mere typo on your part, but "where", which indicates a location, should be "were", the plural past tense of "are". But to get even more technical, since you are only talking about ONE thing, the contrast, the sentence should read: The contrast WAS beautifully expressed.)
Susan, Poetry Perfected is run by an English teacher/poet! In keeping with the theme and title of this blog, I HAD to point this out!
That said, I truly hope you will be back to comment in on future poems!
I am giving all of us an opportunity to learn, and interact with one other, here! So feel free to respond to me!
I am honored that you, and others, have taken the time to read, comment, and like my poem(s). Thank you so much!!!
Lorraine, I just love this poem. If you get a chance to enter it in another contest, please do! It is very vivid, and you succeed in taking your readers on a spontaneous adventure. I love the "teaching" commentary too!
ReplyDeleteThanks, I now regret not entering it. I guess I am too hard on myself, sometimes...
DeleteI appreciate that you took the time to comment and share your views.
I am glad you like the "teaching" aspect, too!